Making a Difference in the Life of a Child.

As mentioned earlier, the GOTB trip to San Luis Obisbo happened yesterday. By way of background, this seven year old program has been taking kids to see their incarcerated mothers each Mother's Day. For the first time, this year we took a bus of LA children to see their dads. Volunteers who sponsor families and make the trip have had their lives changed in many ways by their participation.

The day started early when several All Saints' volunteers arrived at 5:30 AM to finish the set up for registration. Families arrived beginning at 6 AM and we boarded the bus, departing the LA Catholic Archdiocese office at 6:45, for a 4 hour trip along the coast to the California Men's Colony in San Luis Obisbo (if you follow the link be sure to check out the design capacity v. current inmate count). What do you do at the beginning of a 4 hour ride with 20 kids and their mothers? Sleep. Each person was given a blanket and sleep is indeed what most did. We had prepared a breakfast bag and each person could eat breakfast at their leisure along the way.

With about 90 minutes to go before our arrival at the prison, each child was given a Father's Day card to complete. Volunteers, who had been working with the families to get the paperwork needed for the visit, were onboard to work with the kids and support the overall effort. One brief much needed coffee stop later we arrived at CMC about 10:45 and were met by local volunteers who had picked up Subway sandwiches for all to eat before entering the prison. Since the event took place on a regular visiting day we couldn't have a special lunch inside the prison as we normally do on the GOTB Mother's Day events.

A group of volunteers, along with two families were taken in to the East facility (level 3 and 4 inmates) and the rest of the volunteers took the remaining families to the West facility (level 1 and 2). I entered with the group at East and, while the entry process can be a frustrating experience, thanks to the lieutenant responsible for the day the guards had been alerted and the process was painless. Except for one boy who had worn pants too close in color to the pants the inmates wear, we had no clothing issues at the East facility. This one child was taken to Friends Outside to change to tan pants. His brother, a 15 year old with size 18 feet, was allowed to enter wearing his, usually forbidden, flip flops. It was clear to those in authority that we wouldn't be able to find size 18 shoes that he could wear.

Once inside the real fun begins for all of us. To see these kids greeted by the dads and to be present during these reunions is both life affirming and heartbreaking. In one case, a 10 year old saw her father for the first time.

In another, four kids played Scrabble as their parents, obviously involved in a serious mother-father conversation, talked intensely at a nearby table. When the parents concluded their private talk the kids all joined their parents to enjoy the rest of the day. (The father is scheduled to be released in 2033. The oldest child will be 42 when her father comes home.)

During a trip to the vending machine for the obligatory microwave popcorn, I overheard this dad and his 16 year old daughter talking about her plans to go to college and then to law school. She wanted to go to school out of state but he was trying to convince her to go to UCLA so she would be closer to her family. You could read the fatherly pride on this dad's face from across the room. He had a lot to be proud of since his children are amazingly intelligent, polite, thoughtful and fun. The oldest, this 16 year old girl, asked me for addresses for various people who had been involved in the day so she could write thank you notes. How many 16 year old girls, regardless of their situation, would think to do this today?

I could go on with stories like these but I won't. Let me just say that these events are days that will live with me forever. Anyone who rides the bus and experiences the kids and their parents sees how important it is to keep relationships in tact between children and their parent who is in prison. All children deserve strong lifelong relationships with their parents regardless of where the parents reside. Almost all incarcerated woman and men will one day be released into society and those leaving with intact families tend to return to prison at a much lower rate than those released with no family ties.

On the way home we stopped at Nativity of Our Lady parish a mile or so from CMC. Waiting there were church volunteers who had gathered the teddy bears that were given to each child (from their dad) along with a correspondence kit to encourage them to stay in touch with their fathers. After a brief "event" we were all given our box dinner (prepared by a local parishioner's restaurant) and loaded back on the bus for the ride home. We watched a movie, ate, laughed, cried and reflected on a day that greatly impacted all who participated.

It is so wonderful to be a part of this effort, making a difference in the life of a child. How better to spend a Sunday than to live Matthew 25:34-40.